one line.

well, the wait is over. not pregnant.



(empty lines above signify waiting for words to say)...

so i go on with my day. check my purse for tampons and out the door i go. if i had oatmeal to cry into, perhaps i would, but i opted for starbucks drive-thru. i deserve it.

no tears this morning. i did my pre-emptive crying the last few days anyway.

i suppose i have to let all the other "riders" know that the ride is being closed down. thanks for all your months of patronage.
(this is why you kind of want to avoid telling anyone what's going on in the first place... so you're not the only one counting days and so you don't have to let everyone in on your most intimate bodily functions... and yet, you do tell people. perhaps hoping that all their excitement and hope will make the difference)

it's all i can do to not write a paragraph or more on what this might mean... for years i've felt the challenge to stop trying to make sense of everything. some people say you can't make sense of it. i'll pause on that subject for now.