distractions

my realization of how i undoubtedly try to "distract" myself with constant changes is not news to many of the people in my life who "see" me. but is this really just a coping mechanism or can i claim a bit of normalcy in this compulsion of mine? can't we just call it trying to be alive? new job, new city, new paint colors, new hairstyle, new outfit. i think intentional changes become catalysts for other internal changes as well. new mood, new idea, new perspective.

so here are a few changes i'm contemplating right now and wondering if they'll make a difference. 1. curly hair. trying that today. 2. put away (or give away?) the willow tree pregnant lady figurine that was given to me last christmas by a well-meaning/hopeful family member. 3. find a new church. 4. start my phD. 5. move away (not connected, necessarily with #4) and start life fresh in a new city, preferrably with close proximity to an ocean.