labor day

this is the day that TLC has episodes of "a baby story" all day long, right? tempting...

we're one week into the 2-week wait. (sigh). each day has been different (as usual, right? - everything seems more pronounced during these crucial days). we had a great weekend. we've had two days of gorgeous fall weather that you can't help but be happy in. jeans and sweatshirts. fresh mums planted and potted. everything smells great in the fall. i hope it lasts a long time because i dread winter. we should have at least 3 good months yet. and maybe i'll have a cute little baby bump by the time the snow falls. that'll keep me happy through the winter blahs. ooo. cross my fingers!

that's me. dreamer. in fact, i did dream last night, vividly, that our doctor came into the waiting room holding a pregnancy test with two lines on it. "you're pregnant", he said, in his lacking-enthusiasm tone. i asked for a blood test to be sure, but shared the news with some 'key people" (random people actually - an old friend from elementary school, an old coworker from my highschool job, one of the doctors from "Private Practice" who, apparently, had been rooting for me. ha. my brain...) anyway, i can imagine it all. scary thing right now is that i feel like (and this will sound superstitious) if i think of it all a certain way, it's not going to happen. this thought process has actually helped me through a lot of "scary moments" in my life. but in times like this, it just makes me worry. i know, if i take a step back, that i don't actually have a handle here on the cosmic working-of-things. i know, i need to wipe those thoughts away and put my faith elsewhere. and i know, faith is trusting in what we cannot see. it's just very hard. i'm sure this is all some sort of effort to "control" that which i cannot. or maybe just some way to cope with this waiting stage. but why just cope? how can i do more than that?

this morning i slept 'til 9:30am. made eggs for my husband and puppy. my good deed for the day. then, caught up on facebook - have to view the documentation of friends' kids' milestones. wonder if i'll ever have such postings. time keeps ticking away.