years ago, when my now-almost-teenaged nieces were much younger the topic of "giving up things" for lent came up. i suppose they had been encouraged to "give up" something, as a way of focusing more on Jesus and what he "gave up" for us. their ideas give me a chuckle year after year when "lent" comes around. if i remember correctly, ideas such as giving up "lying", "bedtime", and "barbies" were discussed. haha... "i'm going to give up lying!" good idea. well, not that i have a lot of control over it, but if i did, i'd like to give up infertility this year, please.
in a way, though, i am going to "give it up" for the next 40. it's not going to be my focus. my empty womb/arms/nursery will not be given the same attention/focus during this time. i will realign (with God's help) my desires and pray for open eyes and ears to see and hear and experience the goodness God has for me. and i trust that this can be more lasting than the 40 days. but i'm reminded today of the intentionality of starting somewhere. I heard on Christian radio today this message: You wouldn't want God so much if He didn't want you so much first. He is capable of wooing us to Him and realigning our desires to look more like His. He does it because of LOVE. and He works for the GOOD of those who love Him. i'm choosing to trust that.
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