just in the last couple weeks, it has really started to sink in that a baby is coming to our home by the end of January. (!!!) i typically keep a lid on the thrilling excitement, try to stay level headed about this. i've mostly been staying very non-chalant until the last couple of weeks, in "self-protection mode". the time has come though, it's time to nest. and I'm in full force.
the thing about nesting, when you don't have a big basketball under your shirt, is that it's pretty lonely... much more so than i project those with said "basketballs" are experiencing. sure, i hear complaints from my expectant friends about all the unwelcome touches to their tummies and questionably insulting comments and questions ~ "woah, you're ready to pop!", "are you having twins??", etc... to be honest, i think the tummy touches are a lovely connected experience (as a "tummy toucher", it's like a way to bless and send loving vibes to that precious life), and part of me feels like "we" are missing out on that. hopefully our little guy is getting it in his current community. and in addition, without that basketball.... making a registry and buying stacks of clothes and diapers kind of makes you feel like a "poser". i'm pushin' through it anyway.
a couple of stories, to futher illustrate the contrast here between basketball and non-basketball hostesses. a couple weeks ago a dear friend of mine met me at babies-r-us (is there even any other options? how'd they get the corner market on all things baby??) so that i could work on our registry. i had managed to do most of it online (to avoid the posing) but wanted to make sure some of the items selected online matched what i was looking/hoping for. anyway. this dear friend of mine is expecting a baby in february (big basketball) so you can imagine the experience we shared in babies-r-us... a plentitude of questions for her and questionable looks at me, as i walked around with the registry scanner. to be fair, once i talked to the customer service gal about how we were adopting, she was very accomodating and friendly (and she's our "go to" now, as jeremy and i have been back several times now to pick out the perfect stroller... they don't make them well for tall people, we're finding!). then, the other day i went to a local used baby store and picked up a bunch of lightly used newborn outfits - the sales clerk asked me "is somebody having a baby?" ~ and i replied, without hesitation, "yup, me!" (but felt i had to explain when she looked at my flat tummy). i have to say, i am proud of myself for owning this, finally, and yet, i guess there's something about the entitlement/status of the basketball-under-the-shirt that i'm missing, or envious of, just a little.
i've been telling people, more and more, that we're "adopting a baby in january" and as i do so, with less hesitation, and it's becoming more and more real. i smile more. i'm also able to accept the genuine excitement and well-wishes of random people in our community - sales clerks, receptionist, nurses, colleagues, facebook friends, etc. i've decided to just step in and be excited, regardless of fact that things could change. I'm gonna prepare for this little one who (we pray) will be entrusted to our care.
so, today it's saturday. our weekend goal: paint nursery.
thankfully, no funny looks or basketballs needed under the shirt to buy a gallon of paint.
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